Soon, the new year, 2025 is approaching. So, I decided to share the 11 lessons what so far my most difficult year (2024) taught me.
- Overconfidence in implementing a routine task increases the chance of error. An example is when you drive to work on the same route every day. After a while, you learn every bend, every traffic light on the way to work. Then you allow yourself to be on the phone while driving, listening loud music or just getting lost in your thoughts – because overconfidence tells you, you can allow to behave like this, nothing can surprise you any more on this route. Until one morning, you meet with an other reckless driver and you suffer an accident because your focus was somewhere else. Don’t let overconfidence drive to make errors in any repetitive tasks.
- Procrastination delays your dream to come true. Have you ever felt at certain periods in your life, you need to implement certain to-dos in order to keep you position in the business, keep your job or keep your marriage or for some other reason. Procrastination creeps in and tells you, there is time to act. Life sends you multiple signs; act now! But you are keep ignoring these signs. When the action taking is becoming a must, you realise now it is 10-100x harder than if you could act when the necessity was first born. You may not even act even if there is a strong need, only after the realisation, you lost your position in the business, lost your job or lost your family. Do not do this mistake.
- Give a chance to a good idea if it comes from your best friend or family member. My wife talked for so many years about why I am not starting to read fantasy books, or just books which are not only about learning but rather more entertaining. I somehow ignored her recommendation thinking, this is not for me. Last summer I started reading my first ever fantasy book series, the Powerless by Lauren Roberts. I enjoyed this series so much that I completed reading the whole ACOTAR box set too. Right now I am reading the Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros. The same resistance happened with yoga, meditation and traveling…I always first rejected the idea then months, years later I gave up the resistance and when I tried, I regret why didn’t I try it earlier.
- The importance of discipline. I considered myself a disciplined person but yet, there are certain tasks when I must apply more willpower or even I fail at all. Discipline is the most difficult on those tasks I don’t like to do at all, only doing of necessity. You need to find a very strong WHY you are sticking to that task every single day. If you have no why, no clear vision, then the discipline may will fail. Just a few examples…Without being disciplined in body exercise, you become a slave of illnesses and medicines. Without learning about finance and not investing, you become a slave of poverty. Without self-development, you become a slave of a mediocre version of yourself.
- Being present in the Now. After years of procrastination (or my mindset was not on the level to understand?) at the end of this year I read through Eckhart Tolle’s all books and listened to some of his recorded seminars. I liked the following story so much. when two ducks get into a fight, it never lasts long – they soon separate and fly off in opposite directions. Each duck then flap its wings vigorously several times. This releases the surplus energy that built up in him during the fight. After they flap their wings, they fly on peacefully as if nothing had ever happened. Now, if the duck had a human mind, this scene would go very differently. The duck may fly away peacefully, for a moment, but he would not put the fight behind him. He would keep the fight alive in his mind, by thinking and story-making. You must stop regretting the past, what could have gone differently and you must stop worrying about the future and you must stop creating stories that not happened yet. Right now, there is only the NOW. Do you have any problem right, in this moment? If the answer is yes, are those really problems or “just” tasks you must act about? Our mind generate problems from tasks, worst case scenarios in the future. To stay present, all you have to do to be the watcher in your mind. Consciously watch your thoughts and select what thoughts you keep and what thoughts you let go as soon as they arise. Enjoy stillness, be more still. Start reading the Power of Now from Eckhart Tolle.
- The Universe will support your dreams but only if your emotions, thoughts are aligned with! The Universe/God supports only when you are not sabotaging your dream with questioning, complaining, being impatient and becoming hopeless while things are unfolding. This is actually a work in progress lesson for me as keep sabotaging my visions. Manage the thoughts and feelings inside you. Changing your life is mostly an inside job. When you are in balance, miracles will happen.
- Teach a man to fish. Well, not literally. You can only help to make someone’s life better if the person is willing to contribute to your support you provide. Most people who expect from someone else to make their life better, actually are not willing to do a single effort to make it happen. I cut some friendship this year because I found, I was keep giving but the receiver was just finding excuses why cannot do anything. This friend was not able to learn and contribute in the work. There is a saying about this what I learnt in bitter experiences. “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” This year I stopping giving away “fish”.
- Unhappiness caused by believing in your negative thoughts. Unhappiness occurs when you create those negative stories in your mind and you live them. This is so me…and I must stop this or it kills me! Happiness is also a choice. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. Happiness cannot come from an external source, only from you.
- Cycles in life is natural. When your life seems falling apart, understand, this is just a winter season and you will get through it. In life, everything works in cycles, look at the nature for example. From a rotten tree trunk, a new life begins. After sunset and night, there is sunrise and daylight. So many cycles you can see all around you. Losing something, having some problems does not mean you are cursed and lost. This is just part of a cycle and soon everything will get better.
- Mental illnesses are still a tabu Probably, I have never ever in my life I am so close to break mentally due to the challenges we faced with this year. Battling daily with fear, panic, worry and anxiety. We may even call it fighting with depression as this state is now going on for months. Yet, anyone is asking how I am, if I respond “I’m not too well”, I usually get a “Get well soon” or a “Why?”. When I share my struggles, most people cannot handle that. I am then getting a “is this all the problem? But you have everything, including a nice house.” Or “everything will be fine” or “you can do it”. Somehow I feel alone with my problems and feeling, I am not getting the support I need. How I feel myself is discredited by others, like I have no right to feel like this because I have this and that or because how strong I am usually. What if I am not that strong any more? I need more than a “don’t give up”. Just realised now, how “not desired” mental conditions are not considered seriously. Illness is rather a cold or flu, if you are unwell in your mind then “don’t worry about it”. I understand now why depressed people feel lonely and alone in their battle. The worst, I was behaving the same way with many of my friends in the past and now I learnt on my own experience how not to respond to someone who is not well mentally. How to give support and how to show more empathy for those who need our support more than ever.
- Learn from your previous mistakes and do not repeat them.
Dear Reader, thank you for reading my most recent post. I would value so much your effort to comment below. Please also comment from which country you are reading this blog. If you liked this post, please share it on your social media, so it would reach people. Thank you and I wish you a Happy and prosperous 2025! Zollie