Thoughts after the First month
“I am not where I want to be but I am so grateful, I am not where I used to be. You can’t break me. If you didn’t make the Sun come up, you can’t stop me. If you didn’t make the Moon shine at night, you can’t stop me. My purpose, my will, my dedication, my motivation is all about doing the Business. Because that’s what I am about. I am about that Business. I am about that life.” – Motiversity, Coach Pain
Today was a month ago when I handed over my work equipment and finished my contract. Deep down I was hoping, my contract will be extended in the last minute – like it happened many times before. Handing over my laptop and badge was final and while I was walking out of the office I knew, this is now the end of my employment and this is a beginning of a new chapter in my life. On the way walking to the bus station I met with a homeless, elderly person sitting on the ground. First, I avoided his look thinking, “I am no longer in a position to Give”! Five seconds later I changed my mind saying to myself, “you are in a far more position in your life, you can afford to give” – so I gave hime the 10 Pounds bank note that was in my purse. Handing this banknote over was such a nice feeling, not just because of the joy of giving but this was the first win – just 15 mins after my employment ended – over the fear of my Ego! This post is now my story about how I am dealing with my ups and downs, how I am spending my days unemployed.
This one month is now officially the longest break in my career of 17 years. I know, part of because the recruitment process somehow slowed down since the pandemic, the expectations grew towards the candidates and remote working is less widely available – working remotely is my aim to have. I also know, I did not advanced in my career much in the last 10 years, I often feel like a “dinosaur” with my current skillset and don’t know how to advance.
Well before my employment ended, I spent time with updating my CV, uploaded it to job sites. I used the AI based Zety to rebuild my CV. I was satisfied with the result, this site did a very good job with my CV. I was aware of my own weakness, I may will not be in the strongest mental state to spend this much time with updating my CV when my income stop coming in. So, I prepared as much as possible for the job searching period in advance.
The first two weeks were quite easy to handle after my contract ended. Daily, I completed tasks around the house that needed to be done but while I worked, I postponed because my weekends were short to do them or did not have the mood. Cleaning the house and the garden were like a therapy. Often got lost in these tasks for hours, enjoyed not needing to think about professional work.
I crafted a daily routine for this job-searching period which I try to stick to daily:
Morning (using my iPad and a cup of coffee):
– Brain training with the Peak app
– A motivating quote from the Daily Quote and Motivation apps
– Learning a new English word a day using the Word of the Day app
– Learning German on Duolingo app (add me, my user is @bigzolee2)
– A daily motivational quote about Law of Attraction using the (Secret) Super App
– 15 mins with learning new words and phrases in English using the WordUp app
– 15-25 mins yoga using the Daily Yoga app
– 15 mins meditation on my Acupuncture Mat and pillow while listening to either Dr Joe Dispenza’s meditation or to Gabrielle Bernstein’s positive affirmation or manifestation meditation.
These tasks usually take 2-3 hours to complete and quite intense. After the completion of most of these, I sat down to read a motivating book or just scrolling on TikTok 🙂 (Recently read Arnold Schwarzenegger’s latest book, it was so inspiring, highly recommended!). Note, I have no children, so I have time to work on myself.
The middle of the day is flexible, usually spending with to-dos in our home. When I am in a lazy mood, I chill in the garden or in our pool. I allow myself to be present and enjoy the Now.
In the late afternoon mb I exercise. I love my home workout with 2x10kg dumbbells and with my chest expander. I watched Sampson Judo’s video about how to use the chest expander and this activity became my favourite. Nothing else is needed really to work on my body. 30-40 mins I spend 5 times a week on strengthening my body. I love listening to motivational speeches during my exercises. My personal favourite is the channel of Motiversity. I love this gym music mix too. As soon as I am hearing the first song of Eminem’s, I am ready to exercise! I have recently dusted off my road bike and purchased a mountain bike. Cycling is an excellent aerobic activity, which means that your heart, blood vessels and lungs all get a workout as well. My legs get a good workout too. 3 times a week 30-50 km bike riding is my aim to keep. Remember, a healthy mind = healthy body and vice versa.
My evening is usually about relaxation. Reading a book, writing a blog post. Watching something on Netflix. I also do a quick Duolingo session and writing to my daily journal using the Daily Memory journaling app. This is probably the simplest and the worst journaling app but sticking to use it as I started using it years ago. I suggest you to rather choose from this list your journaling app. Daily journaling is about adding a picture of your day and writing few sentences what happened and how you felt. So cool to read back how I felt and what I did a year or years ago the same day! This is powerful as well because often I notice negative patterns I am trying to get out.
I MUST stay strong mentally and physically in order to get through this period the best I can. It is motivating to think about that once I am employed again, I do not want to think back to this time regretful – I could have enjoy this time and could work on myself. Of course, there are days when I cannot stay strong and choosing to stay in low mood. All I can do is to limit these days to the minimum. In low mood you cannot create, you cannot stay healthy, you cannot function.
My daily routine looks overwhelming to some of you. As I have done most of these daily, for years, these are mostly automatic, same like when you brush your teeth and having a shower. Build your daily routine that challenges you but not overwhelming, so you can execute it daily. I attached physical movements, music, also a positive emotional connection to each particular tasks. I ordered some tank tops from Temu with a motivating text printed on. As soon as I put on this top and putting on my motivating music/speech, then I am in the exercise mode. As soon as I unroll my yoga mat and selecting my Daily Yoga session, I am ready to do my yoga. I write my blog listening to Rammor and with a cup of coffee on my desk. Completing my daily routine gives me a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day, I did something for my wellbeing and for my future.
I read more about the Law of Attraction, manifestations. My favourite books in this topic are The Secret and The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. The Universe Has Your Back and the May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness by Gabrielle Bernstein. Make It Happen by Jordan Levin. It is extremely important to keep my fear and anxiety away and this is an ongoing battle with my Ego. We have some savings to survive without income for a few months but as soon as I let my Ego to strike, I feel, my whole body gets filled with panic and fear, thinking “this is the end”. The best weapon against the fearful thoughts about finances are counting money on our saving accounts, keep reminding ourselves to the investments we have. Showing facts to the fearful Ego. This works instantly until the Ego strikes again. After a month I can tell, mentally it is very challenging to get through an unemployed period. We must use every tool available to win the battle in our mind.
It is important to let go the need of controlling the situation. Direct your attention to your past achievements and things you have and own in the present. Take your attention away of what if, how and the feeling of lacking something. These all block the possibility of something better can come to your life. Be very conscious about your own thoughts.
I had one job interview and unfortunately I was so stressed that I could not perform well. I failed. Then I wrote to my life coach, I must use a session and talk about this failure. Asked her help. She gave me really good tips about how to handle stress better next time. Do not afraid to seek professional help if you feel, you stuck.
What I learnt, better not talking about your current circumstance with your family and friends. Generally with anyone. Often, people even close relatives do not know what to say in such situation and they may hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally. After I opened up to one of my best childhood friend about how difficult to stay strong mentally, he said “you can still hoe onion on the fields, haha”. This stick to my mind, that after 17 years international professional career my friend assumes I am capable to do only the lowest paid job ever. Even it was a joke, it stayed with me. Then a close relative suggested “you can go to work as a warehouse labourer”. These were the most negative suggestions but most of the time people around me tried comforting me saying that something better will come soon. The lesson I learnt, I do not need the “funny” comments of the people around me and also I do not want people to feel pitty about me. Some people do not know how a vulnerable person can get really hurt by receiving just one degrading word.
I noticed, the problems in my family effects my energy level. After every family visit I was on the floor for 1-2 days. I can sense marriage crises, hurt and frustrations all around in the family which I can kind of cope with when I do not need to spend all my energy on raising my own vibration in such situation. So, in the next month I prohibit myself to visit family as I must be selfish and must work on strengthening myself.
It is part of the whole story that time to time let myself enjoy my days, without doing anything. We set up a pool in our garden, often I got lost for hours floating on the mattress, sunbathing, reading on my Kindle. There were days when I skipped yoga or the exercise because I did not feel to do it. I learnt, enough a short sleep after lunch to recharge. I learnt to stare birds like stork, swallows, owls and bats who regularly visit our land. I learnt to adore the beauty of wild flowers in our garden. I can afford now to sit 30 minutes longer in our sun lounger and I can enjoy the summer. Instead of stressing about what comes next and how, I can decide to enjoy life and be present in the Now. While I was working, my mind was not this relaxed state. Even at my weekends my mind was busy thinking about problems at work, finding a solution or worried about a deadline. We can choose to enjoy this period the fullest until it gets busy with work again.
The Law of Attraction says, I do not have to worry about the How and When. My only responsibility to FEEL GOOD. This is why I limit how much time I spend on browsing job sites. I rarely apply on jobs. I feel, as soon I start browsing jobs, the anxiety takes over and the feeling of “I am not enough” kicks in. I am scrolling through the list of jobs and feeling: “my God, I cannot see a single position for me, what is going to happen!” This is when my mind tempts me to stand up, walk to the kitchen drawer and open up a chocolate bar… or to the fridge and open up a can of beer. Our mind is our enemy but also wants to give a short release to feel better – with an unhealthy habit. So, instead of spending hours on job sites, I only respond to e-mails to recruiters and only going through the filtered job matches sent in e-mail. I have no capacity for anything else. I must protect my wellbeing because my only responsibility is to FEEL GOOD.
It is extremely important what story we tell to ourself. Are you a victim of a redundancy, are you a person who is not needed any more? Or, are you a victor because you are strong mentally and physically? Being unemployed is just a a circumstance and not your description. Be careful what is your story.
This is the time of learning more about myself, spend more time with what I like to do with whom I like to be with. Time to level up, become a stronger and more advance version of myself. Become a Legend! I must remind myself for this daily and keep my faith and hope that my dream position comes again, soon!
Watch this video to boost your mood, instantly! Please comment if you liked this post. Share with a friend who is unemployed. Thank you.
Please continue reading my thoughts, after 2 months of Unemployment.
