This was the longest pause in writing a post to hunthentic.com. After almost 3 years I lost motivation to write anything. Sometimes, I questioned whether I have any right to share my thoughts; self-limiting questions took over my mind like “am I knowing more than the average”, “am I doing anything better”, “is there anybody out there who still reads my posts”? Ideas came and gone, often I wrote a reminder I should write a post in an exciting topic. Then I postponed the actual writing and that remained an item on my to-do list. I started writing this post on the first day of Christmas 2023, then continued it from an airport while I had a business trip. I wanted to note down what lessons I learnt in the last two years and maybe, you can also learn something from this post.
If you are interested, in the end of 2021 I wrote a similar post and summarised all the lessons I learnt that year.
I am on the path of self-discovery for 5 years now, I consider myself a self-conscious man. I noticed, emotions like fear, anxiety, worry can overwrite every knowledge I learnt so far. Many times the same lessons keep come back to me, until I finally manage to learn them.
- Never allow Fear to take over control on your decisions.
In the recent months and years, I made some decisions I regret later. All these decisions were made because I was afraid of the “what if” and rather chosen a guaranteed safe route, which I already tried and tested. Apart from feeling regret, with this safe choice I did not give space for something better to come.
- Respect your decisions you once made.
There was a reason why I quit something earlier. I must respect my own decisions and later, I should not not think to go back as it will be as bad as it was first time or even worse! Sometimes, we make decisions to quit because we had enough of a particular job, relationship, place or lifestyle. Then later, your circumstance looks worse than from what you quit years earlier and you start idealizing. You start justifying yourself, the job you hated once, the place you got bored of or the relationship from you moved on was not actually bad and if there is a chance, you would go back in time to re-consider again. You even start dreaming about moving back to this chapter in your life. Your mind does everything possible to make you feel safe again. If you let this feeling win, you are soon at a place that looks safe but what you soon will regret why you are there again.
- Trust in your gut feelings.
How many times I had a feeling of something I do not want deep down but I allowed myself to convince it is actually good for me. In most cases my feelings were right. Through painful lessons I needed to learn, if an opportunity makes me feel somewhat unpleasant, I must skip that possibility.
- Trust the Universe/God!
This one is keep coming back to my life. I must finally accept in every circumstances that The Universe/God wants me to live a prosperous and happy life. I must trust whatever happens, always the best possibility occurs. New doors open for me what I have never imagined. This was proven many times in the last two years. Work contracts got agreed last minute in a miraculous way, money continued to flow in even when I have no longer expected, unlucky events opened doors to very fortunate possibilities.
- Moving on is great.
If you feel not happy at your job, relationship or in any circumstance, respect your feelings and be brave to acknowledge, this was good but and no longer serving your best interest. Time to move on. Long term, if you stay at a place that is making you unhappy, will make you unhealthy too!
- Listen to your body.
If you have a headache, it is likely because your body needs more oxygen and/or water. Maybe there is a problem with your eyesight and you need glasses. If you feel tired, rest. This year I ignored few times what my body tried to say until I got unwell. I often have lower back pain what I managed to keep under control with daily yoga. I noticed, it is ok for my body to skip 2-3 days of Yoga but after that I need these stretching movements, or I will suffer from an unbearable backache for at least 2 weeks. You may save on expenses by not buying your monthly multi-vitamins supply or not buying fruits and veggies. Then later, the same money goes on medicines because you get ill. Once you become ill, it is more difficult (and expensive) to get back to healthy again.
- Do not set too many goals.
Here the new Year comes and many people make the same mistake like I did; set too many goals and at the end, you barely reach a single one. So, you do not needed 10 goals, just maybe a handful what you can fully commit to. Even 1 goal achieved is more than 10 unachieved, right?
- Ask yourself: “Is this worth the argument”?
If you are in a relationship and when the time comes to argue on something, pause for a moment and think about this: is this worth arguing about? Is it worth hurting your partner because of this spat? Will you regret what hurtful words were told? If the subject of the spat is something you will not remember weeks later, stop and laugh at. Message to my wife: I know, I know, this is a work in-progress for me.
- Do not take the label you get.
When someone labels you with something what you feel that label is not relevant to you, simply don’t take that label. I often get from family, “you are always quiet” – does this mean I am a quiet and a boring person? Nope. I am an introvert person and I prefer deep conversations in subjects that make me excited. When I am with the family it is very difficult to break out and behave differently than how you got labelled by them. My parents always labelled me as a small, clumsy and incapable child and many times I behaved the same way because I accepted the label. I needed time to realise, I do not have to put on the labels what others stick on me! I must stay the unique and special me. There is only One Zollie and only one You in this World today.
- Put your energy into the solution.
During our house refurbishment we learnt, especially general contractors like to talk about an arisen problem, describe the issue in details and complain about. First they tend to put their energy into the problem itself instead of the solution. We often got overwhelmed by hearing about a problem, then panicked about it. We needed time until we learnt, especially men like to complain about a problem instead of focusing their attention on the solution. So, if there is a problem, pause for a moment and start putting your energy straight into the workaround instead of thinking on why this happens to you and what worst can happen.
- You become what you feed your mind with.
Constant negativity, stress, worry, and drama will make your life miserable. Healthy and positive thoughts, daily discipline in your healthy daily routine and uplifting dreams will make your days great and your life awesome.
- The importance of “Me” time.
I need some time on my own every day. I need this time to work on myself, on my goals or just to switch off and do what makes me happy. As aging, “Me” time becomes more and more valuable for me. It is easy to get lost in responsibilities, serving others, pleasing others but where are you in all this? Don’t hesitate to claim the time you need alone and enjoy that time of the day just doing what makes you happy.
- The danger of idealising someone else’s life.
Don’t idealise a life and try to fit in something into that is not you. Sometimes, when I spent more time with my family, I imagined myself living a settled life too; returning to the same home over decades, having always the same neighbours and workplace to go. Movies, TV series can also influence your desires greatly, how would be living a certain life. After watching the British classic TV show Antiques Road Trip, I sometimes imagined living on a picturesque British country side, in an old cottage, driving a classic car. If you fall in love in such dream, be careful that this may can come true! In the last two years we lived in the Nottinghamshire countryside, in a 200 years old cottage with open fireplace. I did not drive a classic car but started riding a road bike as many local men showed me they do the same. It was fun for the first few months but soon realised, this life is not mine and I want this to end. It was not easy to end an established life, need a lot of effort, money and time. Two years was a long time to try something and I am glad this section of my life has now ended. Remember, when you are tempted to live someone else’s life and you even give a try, think about the consequences and always have an escape plan. The best if you just accept you are a different person with different needs.
- Uncertainty and unfortunate events can create space of something new and better!
I am asking myself; how many times should uncertainty happen in my life – that causes worry and stress – until I accept, by the end, this uncertainty opens completely new dimensions and give a space for new possibilities? An example when cowboy builders demolished the roof of our refurbished house and built an unsafe roof that needed to be demolished again – what a waste of money, material and time! This event led to a roofing professional who builds the nicest roofs in the area and now people even slow down by car at our house admiring the beauty and perfection of our new roof! An other example is when the Corona pandemic gave me the opportunity to experience the beautify and freedom of remote working from anywhere.
- Stick to first what is best for you rather than pleasing others.
In order to please my loved ones or just generally other people, I often tend to say “Yes” for a request I do not feel want to do but I feel, have to. What happens if you say “No” sometimes? You will feel great after that. From now, I practice more saying “Yes” to a request only if I feel comfortable and happy with. If a request is not aligned with my wish, I ask time or just saying “No”.
- Knowing the “How” is not always your task to know
I am in progress learning, visioning a work, a lifestyle, a place, a goal is sufficient without worrying about the how to achieve. I must trust, in every circumstances, that opportunities will come that will show the how. My task is to see and take the opportunities without much hesitation. Whenever I insert worrying thoughts about the how into my vision, I self-sabotage and actually causing my dream to delay or never come true. Overthinking is the worst you can do. Of course, if you know how to reach your goal, speeds up the process. If you don’t know the how yet, just trust, it will happen anyway.
- If you really want to achieve something, never question it, just trust and let it born.
I made this mistake so many times in my life. Great ideas were born then later they died when I started questioning their existence and validity. I have let other’s opinion shadow my vision and I put this vision on hold later. After a due-diligence and proper homework if I see the object of my vision will serve others or brings me prosperity or helps me to level up, then I must trust, this vision must born. An example is the birth of this blog. I was hesitating for months whether ever, anybody will read this blog. I started creating this blog in Mexico, when I had a good vibe and I had a strong willpower. Then with discipline I could maintain the monthly content. I still believe, some people (maybe even Many!) benefits from what I am sharing here and these thoughts are not just staying in one of my notebook. Please comment below if you find this blog useful and if any of my posts helped you – your feedback would mean a lot to me.
- The unfortunate event that has just happened, is this something worth worrying about?
Events what our mind sees negative can come and go any time. I am a person who is greatly influenced by outside events, my mood can be controlled by what happens around me. Often, a generally small event occurs then I make it bigger by over thinking and over worrying. My mind have a feast on the events I consider negative but I must question the validity! Is this event something I will remember after 3 months? How about after 3 years? If it is not that big that you will remember on three years later probably means worrying and stressing about it is waste of effort.
- Limit the time you watch News daily.
News are written to catch your attention, generate traffic and make you feel worried. You must learn to scan through articles and just consume the content moderately. I like knowing what is going on in the World but I cannot deny how often I feel anxious after reading a News post. Then I must step back and think about this post was written from someone’s view and opinion and I can see only a few percentage of the whole picture.
- How to set fire properly.
If you know me, you know, I can lit my inner fire inside me by watching a Motiversity video, talking to an inspiring person (who is usually my wife), reading a motivating self-help book, attention on a seminar. Visioning my goal/dream and taking steps towards to, especially if I can see some result on the journey. Listening to my favourite DJs, music can set me feeling on fire too.
Funny enough, but number 20 is about how to set fire in the fireplace.
I grew up in a house with using only fireplaces, not used any modern heating system. Then in my adult age I stayed at many times houses where there was a fireplace too because I like the vibe of that. But! I always had challenges with setting the fire! Sounds funny but I had to live 42 years to learn how to set a fire properly. Why no one ever showed this way to me? Since knowing this, so easy to set a fire in our new fireplace. I close my thoughts with the instruction.
- Form 6-10 paper lose paper rolls with your hand
- Place 2 pieces of split billets in parallel and have the rolls between them
- Place lightwood pieces on the two split billets perpendicularly
- Perpendicularly to the lightwood pieces, again place a bit thicker pieces of lightwood
- As a last step, place 2 pieces of thicker billets on top of the pile. The end result should look like a Jenga game tower! Lit the paper and enjoy the result.
I hope, 2024 will bring all of us many happiness and prosperity. I wish all my readers a Happy and Healthy New Year! Peace and Love, Zollie.
It was a great joy to read this! Happy new year Zoli and Reni!