Part 3. – Loneliness from the view of a Digital Nomad
“Toma Vibe” lives as a digital nomad since the Covid breakout and travels the World alone. He is also a Paraguayan resident and working in IT like myself, so I started following his Youtube channel since the beginning. He gives tremendous values about how is living and working from Latin-American countries, often off the map. I got curious about what his opinion about loneliness? Is he now afraid when visiting places what considered as some of the most dangerous countries in the World?
Zollie: For many of us it is important to live in a loving relationship. To have an intimate connection with someone. You travel the World alone, how do you deal with loneliness? Having no partner next to you, with whom you can help and support each other in whatever circumstance.
Toma: For me to have a relationship is not that important. If I need to talk about a challenge or problem, I talk with friends or with those I meet with on my journey (in hostels, bars etc). I am not an emotional person, I just get things done and try getting over difficulties easier by laughing at them. Depression is not in my dictionary. With a happy and positive mindset everything looks brighter, isn’t it?
Zollie: Following your journey as a fellow nomad, I see you often walk or even live in dangerous places. Seeing those videos of yours the question always arises, how are you not afraid of if something happens, you got attacked? Nobody is there to help and maybe weeks until somebody finds you? Are you not afraid?
Toma: I simply do not think about worst case scenarios, about what if…because it would frightened me and drag me down. Fear could be smelled by criminals, so better to stay confident and courageous. I live as a “hobo” and dressed like that; often wearing torn and worn T-shirts, shorts, I have no valuable jewelleries, gadgets. I do not look like somebody who is a good target to be robbed. Locals like to wave me or have a picture together. Also, it is important no to believe everything written on the Internet and on government websites. Like what you can read about Mexico, Belize, Honduras, Nicaragua or Paraguay. Experiencing these places in person gives a confidence I am not in danger. I traveled with airplane, ship and bus. I have never had any issues. I was brave enough to walk in night in the murder capital of 2013, in San Pedro Sula and in Tegucigalpa – and here I am, still alive! Of course, you must always stay vigilant and not to look for trouble. What makes me more confident that I do not have many valuable items in my rucksack and when it is needed, I can run away easily. Every second day of the week I run or do some cardio to be in a shape when the time comes, I must run for my life.
Zollie: Do you have friends? Do you miss them? How can you maintain the friendships from distance?
Toma: I do not have many close friends, mostly people I got know. I miss those close friends I have but if I would be with them, I would miss this adventurous life. I have video calls with my friends only in about every 6 months for an hour or two. The main communication is in text messages and that is more regular. It is a good way to maintain a friendship to use voice communication occasionally, it is more personal. I do not need to talk often with my close friends to maintain the relationship, we know we are always “there” for each other. When I visit my country, I meet them in person.
Zollie: What is your best tip for dealing with the loneliness feeling?
Toma: I do not mind to be alone, I have thousands things to do always; I have my job, workout, running a Youtube channel, traveling and exploring the World. I want to do so much more in a day but 24 hours is often not enough. So I have no time to feel lonely. If you have tasks to execute, goals to work on, if you keep yourself busy these help a lot. In hostels I rarely staying alone where I can focus on my own stuff. It is always an option to get know new people, socialise more. I read somewhere that if somebody is not happy alone, possibly that person is expecting the happiness from someone else. This can be dangerous because if the expectation is higher than the reality, that can break a relationship. In my opinion, it is important to work on the root cause of why we feel lonely and find a long term solution in ourselves; so we can enjoy our own company more.