How are you living your life now? When you wake up in the morning, do you have a purpose to start your day strong? Do you have the motivation, the energy to make your day awesome? You have to understand: your existence is part of a Universal plan, every single person has a purpose why a life was given to her/him. You certainly have a gift that is waiting for to be opened.
Our existence, our life is a blink of an eye in the age of our planet, do you live your life purposeful and are you grateful for being alive? Do you feel you waste your life and you wait for your days to be ended? Do you spend your time wise, like it is your last day alive? What legacy are you leaving behind, who will cry when you pass away?
These questions may triggered in you “something” and you continue reading this post. If not, that means, you already live your life at a level you are happy with – congratulations!
Let me tell you, there is nobody out there who will motivate you daily and cares that much about your wellbeing, than yourself. You have to rise up, build a wall to defend your well-being. You must start believing, you are better than those, who let their life wasted! It is true, if you surround yourself with motivating, inspiring people, these people can boost your willpower. But in the morning it is up to you if you decide to stay in bed 2 more hours instead. During the day it all depends on you what you will achieve. All depends on a decision you make daily. And what if you have no inspiring, uplifting friends? You are on your own. Your choice if you let yourself down or do something for your life. Please allow me to share my story, that hopefully will motivate you or give you at least some value.
From my early childhood, nobody believed in me (thinking of those who were part of my daily life), because of my look I was bullied and my parents, teachers around me (respect to those who did not) treated me as a handicapped, weak child. I was not let out to play with children on the street, I had to learn how I can play alone. Luckily, my imagination was very active, I started carving guns, tanks, airplanes from wood (strange why boys like playing war?!). Whatever I saw in an action movie and I liked, next day I carved it myself and re-played some scenes from the movie I watched, often imagined myself as a hero! This was my way of fighting against loneliness and sorrow. I learnt soon, I please everybody if I stay on the chair in the corner, without a word. When I did this, I always got an appreciation “wow, this child can really behave”. This was the first time when I denied the child me and this was the time when I realised, adults will like me better if I behave how they want, not how I want. The same life was predicted to me as my parents’ or the average people’s living day by day in the small town I was raised.
The time arrived in primary school, when I had to choose a secondary school to continue my studies. My parents wanted me to choose a profession that will serve them the best; like if I become a hairdresser, their hair will be done for free for the rest of their life – quite selfish, isn’t it? My teachers didn’t trust my capabilities because I was a quiet child, so they wanted me to choose a simple college where I can study a profession, like a brick layer job (even I was one of the best student in the class). This was the first time I said No! I wanted to go to high school, even to university (this time my imagination was that a degree brings me a happy and rich life). Instead of some support, I got comments like “you are not good at math, you will fail”, “you are not good enough to finish a school like that”. I sent my application to the high school which at that time was a well-rated school and was not easy to get in. There was a half day assessment in literacy and math along with some interviews. I remember how much I prepared, read books, practiced; I so wanted to prove people wrong! I did it, I was selected to start this school next September. I was so happy receiving the letter I was selected and the person I remember was happy with me was my aunt. I spent an evening with sharing my plans with her and she celebrated with me. My aunt (unfortunately she passed away 8 years ago) had a very positive and supportive attitude. I so need some “well-done” words, what I got from her. You cannot go always against everybody without a single person supporting you. Do you have a family member, a friend, who always supports your ideas, who is next to you when everybody else say no? Be grateful for this person and appreciate the support you get. Even a support from only one person is more than nothing.
There was an obstruction already in my plans, even before starting high school. In primary school I studied Russian but everybody else came with English and/or German language background, so they did not start a Russian language course just for me. In the summer vacation I had 2 months to bring up German to an intermediate level (from zero), so I can start in September with my new classmates in an intermediate German class. I said, challenge accepted, spent my summer with German books and with a private teacher. I must share here, my parents paid the fee of my private teacher, so looks like they started supporting the idea, maybe this little guy will be successful in something. I started high school strong, I was fine with starting English from the basics and continued German like those who studied it for years before. Math was not easy for me indeed but practicing and extra hours studying helped me to pass the exams.
In high school the bullying continued, got a nickname after a handicapped person in a Brazilian soap opera. I did not cope with the bullying well, I had zero confidence but delivered the results. At home the bullying continued, from my father. As I am almost blind for one of my eye, he made a joke of this eye problem daily. My body has grown in a short period a lot and had some movement/coordination problem, this was target of making jokes of as well. I just carried on, often ran away in the garden and climbed up on a tall walnut tree, spent hours crying. That walnut was my safe place where I could find my peace. Certainly, there was something why I loved that tree this much. Later I learnt, trees have a magical energy that can charge you up, this tree was my charging point, my place of peace.
Even I motivated myself to reach excellence in my life, I had suicidal thoughts often. I did not understand what is wrong with me, why I have to go though this much bullying. I had nobody to talk to really. I was on my own, in a dark place. However my motivation to prove people wrong was bigger than giving my life up. I wanted to live an extra-ordinary life, not what people around me destined me. I knew, I can make it, even I sometimes questioned my capabilities myself.
I remember, after the final exams in high school, I went home proudly, showing my certificate. My dad only commented with “congratulations, there is an other jerk with a certificate”. Following this comment, I was on my bicycle on that afternoon, cried and ended at my grandmother’s. Oh, I cried so much! Which was ok, crying helped me to release pain. Few days later of the final exams, I borrowed a tent and spent the summer working at the Lake Balaton, with my best friend, Tamas.
We slept in a tent and later in an accommodation was given by our employer. We worked as waiters while we were waiting for our application to college and university (mine was college). This was our first summer out in the real life, what we spent with job hunting, working, earning money and even saving some hard earned cash. It was a challenging but fun summer, really enjoyed it.
We both started our higher education and luckily, bullying stopped after high school. I studied IT Engineering and my dream was to make my earning with my head, not with my hands. Studied hard but after the first semester I was dropped out. I had some temporary (low paid) jobs here and there. Soon realised, if I don’t get my sh1t together, I will not prove my naysayers wrong!
At a warehouse I worked, I started smoking heavily, had my croissant for breakfast with a bottle of beer – a good example how the environment can influence you good or bad! I had a girlfriend who was 17 years older than me, with children who were only a few years younger than me. I was right in a life that was destined for me by my environment. Suddenly, my father became my friend; he enjoyed seeing I have the same life like him. He even shared his cigarette or bought a pocket for me with a bottle of beer.
Two events that I remember helped me to wake up in me the need to do Something. I remember, when one of my boss came to me saying, he earns hourly 5.000 Ft (about 13 EUR, my earning was about 1.5 EUR) and I will NEVER earn this much, I will always be a “servant” of others for pocket money and he laughed at me. How rude but this actually reminded me about my primary goal of having a different, better life than others around me! So thank you Boss, you motivated me to be who I am today.
The other event was when my girlfriend tried to sell, let’s settle down, we can both work in the same warehouse and can live happily ever and after. I was still in my early twenties, this life was exactly what I did not wished for myself! Work through 40 years in a warehouse -while being an alcoholic and cigarette addict- and at the end of my life, regret my whole life and the decision I made.
Weeks later, I applied to the some college, to the same IT Engineering course, even there was barely nobody to support me in the idea, except one of my teacher at high school, Tunde. She helped me to fill the application. I could see the hope for a better life only in higher eduction, so my first failure did not stop me to re-apply.
I have completed 6 semesters out of 7 and the reason I did not graduate because I lost my belief in higher eduction. Exams became a “robbery”; the school needed more money what they could achieve to get if they let me pass the exams only after three or five attempts. I studied always and after few attempts managed to pass even on the highest level of Math exams. I was proud of myself as I always knew, I am not gifted with great numeric and logical mind.
Meanwhile I was a college student, I have fallen in love to my current wife and got my first serious job at IBM. At this job I realised, the subjects I have to study at the college are so outdated, nobody cares if you know Pascal or C++ programming any more…At the Big Blue I studied up to date technologies I loved. After 15 years working in this software engineering profession, I became one of the most experienced Engineer in the field, without a university degree but with amazing, international references. I reached my goal, I became one of the most wanted IT engineer in my field. Nice to be part of a success story but as you see, in life, only a matter of a decision separates you from achieving a successful life. I could have chosen to stay in the warehouse job and I would look now different for sure.
The reason I shared my story because I wanted You to see, not everybody comes with an ideal, supporting background. You must find your Why. Why you are not letting yourself to live a mediocre life. My Why was to prove everybody wrong, I am better than that kid they saw and knew. I did not want to live the life what my parents lived, I wanted to be financially free, never worry about money any more, I wanted to be unique.
Do not let anybody validate your capabilities, do not let anybody validate your destiny. You choose your destiny, you choose what is best for you. You have unlimited strength to reach your dreams. No matter the circumstances, you don’t give up on the goal you decided to reach, the life you decided to live.
What are you going to leave behind? What would you say about your life at your own grave? Did this person lived his/her life purposeful, happy? Did that person in the grave had any regrets in the deathbed?
Here I am coming with some tips, how you can motivate yourself if you feel lost and unmotivated, purposeless.
- Have a beautiful, new journal and start journaling. Start questioning yourself why you don’t feel happy what would make you feel better long term? What is preventing you to start making steps towards that something that would make you feel purposeful again? Do you have self limiting doubts? Do these limiting thoughts have any validity? Can you get rid of them?
- Do you have any daily routine that would help raising your energy? Having a morning coffee, reading news, watching TV, scrolling on Facebook will not raise your vibration. An early walk in a park, watching a motivational video or reading a self-help book, journaling (writing a grateful journal), having a good conversation with a good-vibe person, doing yoga combined with some exercise, practicing meditation, a few minutes under cold shower, spending time with your hobby, having a passionate sex, planning and dreaming, listening to your favourite music while making some dance move, would all raise your vibration and energy level. Find the daily routine that would fit for your liking the best.
- Discipline, discipline, discipline! Stick to your morning routine, to the activities those uplift your mood and keep it in balance. This is one of the hardest. In every 2-3-6-9-12 months randomly my life (along with my daily routines) changes. New place to live or to work from, new environment, different timezones…I am keep adjusting to the given environments. The toughest is when I have a well-practiced daily routine for few weeks then suddenly everything changes around me and I have to adjust again. Often I have 1-2 weeks when I skip doing most of my routine and I start going down into mood-swings. Both my body and soul start going back to a place where I have no energy, motivation. This is when the Alert-button is pushed in my head and I start doing something -again- for my well-being. Then again, my life changes…and going through these cycles over and over. But you know what? I always reach to a point when I miss the powerful, energetic me, so even I have weeks when I let myself down (until I settle down a bit), I am rising up and kicking my own ass. Life is often like in a box-ring. You get a punch, you kneel down, then you rise up again and punch back! You must be stronger than your excuses!
- Spend time with your thoughts, think about what would make your life happier, what is your desire? If luxury shopping and holidays are not making lasting changes in your life and keep falling back into depression, it is a good sign: time to change on your life!
- Find a coach, who can help you to answer for the question that is in your mind about how to live your life with more purpose. A coach can help you to direct you to the right path.
Remember, you have only this Life, only one chance. You get older day by day. Do not be the person, who regret what have not done in life. Be the one, who will have no regrets.
If you have any thoughts after reading this post, please write it below in the comment section. If you liked this post, please share it, so my message can reach more people. Thank you. Love, Zollie.